Lame Duckin' It Up

So yesterday I was pretty upset when I found out I lost my re-election bid for president of 3Twins.net. I thought my fans had let me down. I thought everyone hated me. But most of all, I was sad that I didn't get to be in charge anymore.

But then today I found out something that made it all better. Do you realize that NO ONE expects the president to do ANYTHING between the time he's voted out and the time he actually has to leave! Plus you STILL GET PAID!

I guess it's called being a lame duck. And here I thought the only lame duck was Indigo. Nope, turns out it's me, and I'm loving every minute of it. It's like I get a two and a half month paid vacation!

Oh yeah, and I also found out that due to its small population and lack of qualified candidates, 3Twins.net has NO term limits! That's right, come the next election season I can challenge Marvin to a rematch! I've already got my slogan:

Hatman/Indigo 2012 - this time it's personal!

But in the meantime, I think I'll just enjoy my time off.

Heroically yours,

Hatman

p.s. In case you were wondering, I was only kidding about the whole "still getting paid" thing. They don't actually pay the president of 3Twins.net anything. But I'm a cartoon character, so what would I do with money anyway?

Concede?

So, I lost the race for Honorary President of 3Twins, did I? Well, this just stinks! Don't you people like me? I was your Hero. A hero for the people, made by some people. Well, if this is how its going to be, I'm leaving the Hathouse in shambles for Marvin to take it over then! See how he likes that!

Wait a second, my advisers (Blonde and Indigo) are telling me that the Hathouse doesn't go to the President. And after I painted "Hatman Rules, Marvin Drools" on my bedroom wall with bright red paint too!

Oh, well, I guess I concede.

Congratulations, Marvin

-Hatman

No love for Indigo

So I went to the ice-cream stand the other day and asked for a sundae and the server said to me, "Sorry, buddy, we don't serve FREAKS here!"

Well I was pretty disgusted, so I left. I figured she must have just been in a bad mood so the next day I came back and said, "Can I have an ice-cream sundae with caramel and extra nuts?" And she said, "I told ya, pal, we don't serve FREAKS in this establishment!"

"Easy lady," I said, "I just want some ice cream!"

And she said, "Don't you listen!? If you come in here again asking for ice cream I'm gonna nail your beak to the counter!"

I was pretty upset after that so I left, but today I thought I'd give it another go. I walked into the ice cream shop just after lunch and the same lady was working. She gave me this look like she was gonna shoot lasers out of her eyes at me! And I asked her, "Hey, lady, got any nails?"

"No," she said.

"Well in that case," I said, "can I have an ice cream sundae?"

HA HA HA!

Just kidding, that didn't really happen to me, but I've ALWAYS loved that joke! AND I actually have a beak, so...

If you want to see what's REALLY going on with me, check this out.

Your favorite multi-species-crime-fighter,

The Incredible Indigo

Girl Trouble

So I made yet another wishing blunder the other day and accidentally wished that my girlfriend Blonde would have her own little fairy princess to grant her wishes. That Leppy really needs to learn about figures of speech. Anyway, Blonde ended up using one of her wishes to give super powers to her annoying little brother Red. I'm sure you can see where this is going.

I'd tell you the whole story, but I really don't have time, maybe you should just check it out for yourself.

I'm not really sure what I think of Blonde being able to wish for things, it is a big responsibility. But she's smart so I'm sure she'll handle it just great. I'll guess you'll just have to stay tuned for "The Adventures of Hatman & Indigo Issue #32" at 3Twins.net to find out!

~Hatman